fairytale/

Fairytale
'cause I don't care for your fairytales You're so worried about the maiden though you know She's only waiting on the next best thing Snow White is doing dishes again cause What else can you do With seven itty-bitty men? Sends them to bed and calls up a friend Says will you meet me at midnight? The tall blonde lets out a cry of despair says Would have cut it myself if I knew men could climb hair I'll have to find another tower somewhere and keep away from the windows

Hello there, all you have to know is that I'm going on seventeen and that I bite.
I like school a lot because of my very hyper/funny classmates, tablemates especially.
Flipping and being out of gravity's reach momentarily gives me a thrill sometimes.
I love being in planes too cause its something I rarely experience.
And I've figured that though the Earth may be trembling, all is fine.
So, there's enough rambling.
I hope you have something to tag about with regards to my posts!

And love me,
for I am phenomenal. ♥

Saturday, April 21, 2007,10:05 pm

history test.
math test.
science test.
and the temptation of the computer.

i have practically wasted the whole of my saturday.
and i havent listened in class during history.
much less do i understand a single thing of biology.
and its only 24-8=16 hours,
16-5=11 hours of homeworking.
and i still have my essays of unseen poetry to rush out.
my history to study
my math to remember
my studies to tidy up.

im dead.

and things doesnt help.
with the ice skating thing.
with my mood.
with my stress level.
with livia's headache.
with all our moods down.
with people.
with ______.

i can cancel this list,
one by one,slowly,
tediously.
but there's not enough time,
there's not enough energy left in me to fight it off in 11 hours.

maybe i should go into hiding.
into determined hibernation,
where i shrink and hide,
where i keep to myself.
where i shrivel up and fade away.

even my sunshine cant help me.

she sympathesizes,
she understands,
but she cant help.
she cant predict,
she cant create magic,
she cant save me.
i have to do it by myself.
pick myself up and solve it.
have to find energy,
find time,
find company,
find trust,
where i can piece myself up again.

you don't know it qiao
but you make a great difference in our lives
we may not express it
but we really do love you.

lets just take that this is true.
and now it sets me thinking
despite my emotions
despite my confusion
despite my stress
that.

why is it.
that i express my love
my care
my worries
for the people around me
but they dont?

why is it that.
i go rushing to them
go running after them
go chasing after them
for them to take care of themselves
for them to jiayou
for them to work harder
but they dont?

why is it so?
it is making me feel insecure.
it is making me feel worried.
it is making me feel depressed.
why do i do it, and they do not?

DONT tell me its because people are born different.
DONT tell me its because people have different backgrounds.
DONT tell me its because people grow up differently.
DONT tell me its because people have different religions.

people are born,
the same way,
the same methods,
the same PLANET.

yes, its different religions,
but so WHAT?
we are still humans
we are still life.
we have the same heart
the same minds
the same ways of thinking.

god created us,
he taught us the same things.
it does not account for.
the different ways people act.
i not convinced, liv.
i am NOT.

forget it.
just let it go.
just let all these trickle away,
like the sand that seeps in the hourglass.

you turn it again,
and you will experience it again.
my life,
where troubles come,
and revisit again.
and as hard as i try to run,
it comes and haunt me,
looms over me,
lurks in my sub-conscious mind,
never, releasing me,
forever, torturing me.

time is ticking away,
seconds are rushing by,
my energy is seeping away,
and life is floating by.