hello people(:
its been the last day of school,
a rather bad day if you ask me,
and im going to quote extracts,
and a certain thing from a blog,
and just make it into my blogpost,
to mark the last few days of twotenohseven.
________

"have you ever felt like,
you're sad and down.
and then people ask you,
whats wrong?
then you shake your head,
then smile and reply,
nothing, i'm fine.
and then they walk away without a word
and no one ever say to you,
no, you're not fine. tell me what happened."
________

"but you shoulda known im emo now.
geesh. im really really feeling horrible these days."
________

LIST DOWN 10 THINGS YOU WANT TO SAY TO
PEOPLE BUT NEVER WILL, WITHOUT SAYING THEIR NAMES.

1. i really dont know what happened today.
maybe it was me just starting off from the wrong step,
at the beginning of the day. or maybe-
im just too inferior for you.
maybe the others are better worth to be your friends,
that they understand and embrace you better.

2. i cherish you, i really do.
but sometimes you just get on my nerves,
with your bragging and nagging over your mentor and stuff.
do, stop it.

3. how i wish you could just understand me.
i dont want to be independent.
i just want you to care for me,
and not to repeat always how im responsible for all,
how i must do this and not do that.

4. perhaps you can just lay off my bad,
and look at something else.

5. im trying to stop,
im trying to change,
and you just keep harping on the same.

6. its not that i dont want to be in the same ____.
its just difficulties.
but at this point of time,
maybe you wont even be interested in hearing,
what i've got to say.
music today was your life, i see.
and photos and fun and games.
i know im fading from your life,
and just seeing you happy in class,
as usual even without me,
i'll get lost if that's what you want.

7. i have an attitude problem.
well, so do you.
so what if you're older, huh.
you're ___ and bitchy and ____.
-rollseyes-
flithy rich, to describe you.
god knows what will happen in the future.

8. yes, im running away.
understand my problems, be me,
and you'll know why im doing this.
its hardwired into me.
its freaking me out.
i rather run away,
than to face my fears again.

9. why.do i say wrong things?
why just shut yourself in that container,
and not open up to someone you trust?
or maybe its just difficult to open up.
perhaps its just that im not trustable.
but all these isnt leading you anywhere.
or maybe its just empathy;
its the same for me.

10. sometimes i wish you'll care.
but sometimes i want my freedom.
why cant you just understand me more?
why aint i feeling proud,
that you're not worried for me at all?
why do i flinch at that idea,
why do i blow my top so often?
you dont know, you dont care.
all you want are marks, marks, marks.
and the responsibility from me that you've grown so used to,
and the independence you take for granted.
i tried, i failed.
and you didnt even notice the disappointment.
did you even know my results?
my report book's on my bed,
do you even know the existance of it there?
im taken for granted, arent i?
and just a part of me that blows up,
you treat it as bossiness, madness,
and there i go, getting a lecture.
cant you just at least try to understand?
or maybe you have,
just that i havent noticed.
________

its a wonder how reflections can make you type all these.
its a miracle how a blog can trigger your thoughts.
or maybe i dont want to be human.
isabella swan sounds tempting now.
the part of extreme sports.