fairytale/

Fairytale
'cause I don't care for your fairytales You're so worried about the maiden though you know She's only waiting on the next best thing Snow White is doing dishes again cause What else can you do With seven itty-bitty men? Sends them to bed and calls up a friend Says will you meet me at midnight? The tall blonde lets out a cry of despair says Would have cut it myself if I knew men could climb hair I'll have to find another tower somewhere and keep away from the windows

Hello there, all you have to know is that I'm going on seventeen and that I bite.
I like school a lot because of my very hyper/funny classmates, tablemates especially.
Flipping and being out of gravity's reach momentarily gives me a thrill sometimes.
I love being in planes too cause its something I rarely experience.
And I've figured that though the Earth may be trembling, all is fine.
So, there's enough rambling.
I hope you have something to tag about with regards to my posts!

And love me,
for I am phenomenal. ♥

Friday, March 23, 2007,11:19 pm

hello all(:
i know i sound high.
but im not high.
im feeling super emo.
and i've decided.
i SHALL crap here.
and this is mainly for MY own amusement.
for MY own entertainment.
for MY own amazement.
so you readers just SHUT UP with whatever comments you have.
and i DONT CARE whether they are good or bad.
just SHUT UP.

rawr.
im like. the worst case of emo-ing or something.
I know.
i appear strong.
i appear high most of the times.
i appear indifferent to breaking rules.
deep down, I CARE.
im NOT strong.
i get high cause im running away.
i am indifferent cause breaking rules give me the THRILL.

i care when i crash.
i care when wang gives me that disappointed look.
i care when i cant kai for qian kong.
i care when i get isolated.
i care when my tao shi bai.
i care. i care. i care.
and deep down, the indifferent me is going to explode soon.

my temper is short now.
i try to keep it down during training.
cause i know how terrible it is to be shouted at for no reason.
i try to look indifferent.
i get high cause i want to distract myself.
the laughter, the fun, the INNOCENCE.
it draws me away into fantasy.
it helps me escape.
but when reality hits me hard on the face,
i surpress my tears.
cause to me, crying is a sign of weakness.
and i made up my mind a longlong time ago.
i will NEVER ever cry myself to sleep again.

but i think i will break this vow.
i cant stand it longer.
my friends dont understand me.
they dont know my inner self.
the personality test thing so does NOT help.
im still the old, domineering me inside.
i change myself, for a new life.
it does not work.
life is still the same.
what do you want me to do?
so that i can get what i want?
what must i do?
so that i can kai?
what must i do?
so that zheng lao shi will trust me again?
what must i do?
so that i can get someone who KNOWS me?
what must i do?
so that my tao wont suck?

and livia.
dont try to comfort me.
im looking at myself from a third person point of view.
like amanda.
and i see things i cant.
my tao SUCKS.
im facing reality.
but its too hard for me to face.
and im running away again,
as fast as i can,
back into the safe arms of fantasy,
where nothing goes wrong.