Hello world.

I know I haven't been posting, I'm so sorry! Promise that next week, which is from 16th onwards, I will have zero excuse to not do a post, so be patient till then okay?

This week is totally na-da cause there's HCL O's tmr, grad night on wednesday, date with seniors on friday, and shopping with minyi over the weekends. Yup, busy week, me likey!(:

Anyway, love y'all!

Wish me luck for chinese tomorrow, I really think I can't make it.

Haven't been revising, I'm going to hell in JC. :/

Got to pull myself together.

Got to be stronger.

Because I have to protect myself;

the anguish, disappointment, emotional waves, that family crashes upon me.

Indifference, a shield,

A state of euphoria where no one close to my heart can ever damage.

No more fear.

Sweet, sweet release.

I observed it yesterday, but it only occurred to me today;
My siblings are really, really, really good at lying blatantly. I swear. Yesterday I was at my grandma's house and ugly scenes happened, but I shan't go into details since brooding ain't good. Basically some fight happened between my 2 cousins and my 2 siblings (when I wasn't there, thank god actually).

Apparently my sister whacked/choked my younger cousin.
As all children go, he cried and my over-protective aunt came to interrogate all of us, me included cause I was at the scene at that time, what on earth happened. So cause I didn't know what was happening I continued clearing my email. My cousin and 2 siblings insisted that he started the fight first, and when my cousin hit back (as it is oh-so-natural to retaliate), he cried. And my aunt was dubious/irritated that her children kept fighting, so she yelled at all of us, me included (again), and said that we shouldn't stay over that night - we were planning to. And of course that got me all irritated as well cause fighting has no link with staying over, but that wasn't the point.

Today, my aunt called again to ask where my parents were.
And she ended the phone conversation by saying, "Oh, by the way, it was your sister that made him cry last night." So I went oh, okay, bye then. But now thinking back, her expressionless face while lying was really freaky. At least my cousin looked down and smirked a little, hinting that she was (happy to be) lying, see. But for her..

Now I know why my twilight books are damaged after a mysterious disappearance.
After all, my Harry Potter books were gone as well; checking her texts, she lent them to her friends by saying that oh, my sister allowed me to lend you these books.

Tyvm, now I have another issue to deal with besides, say, worry over eoys and difficulty in trust.

P.S. This definitely isn't the post you're expecting. But whatev.

Gotta keep holding on,

to get out of the tangle and work towards reality.

A promise.

Someone promised me that,

on my birthday, or when I want it, I'll get balloons and chocolate chip icecream delivered to my doorstep. But I doubt that's going to happen any time soon.

So anyway, I think studying during September holidays ain't working out for me; I went burger King today and finished the 1st 3 topics of the biology textbook only, its like pathetic (go check the TB out before you yell at me for being muggerish; its really freaking short). But that's at least something done, and I did say I'll come online if I did some studying either on sunday or monday, so here I am.

And I'm online too cause I wanna date y'all!

Anyone free on the 11th of September, mummy's throwing an early birthday dinner for me! I'm glad she didn't forget, I was wondering if she would like how she did when I was in Sec2. Though she did say sorry and compensated me (willingly), it sucked to feel forgotten you know. Big time. But negativity aside - that's my new policy of life - tag if you want to/can come! It'll be around 6.30pm at my house, Yishun (I know, its effing far), till anytime you want. Maybe a midnight movie too, hehe.

Birthday wishes:

1. To get into an NC16 movie before I am 16. If you ever, ever do this for me I'll be eternally grateful to you, not kidding! 2 and 5 years down the road when I'm breaking the M18 and R21 movies I'll think of your name, everytime. Someone, pleaseee!

2. As mentioned above - that sounds totally political/LA-presentation like - I want balloons and icecream. For that person it'll be homemade icecream, but for you guys I want strawberry Haagen Dazs icecream; Xinni knows I'm crazy over that, yes yes? Hahah.

3. A new wallet. Anyone who have seen my pink wallet knows this wish is totally reasonable and self-explanatory.

4. Date me out for the remaining of the September holidays everyday to study. And if I miraculously pass my EOYs with flying colours, I'll be eternally grateful too, as like 1, when my future employer stares at my resume and sees A1s in all my subjects, maybe with the exception of IH. And prolly LA and chinese too. HAHA.

5. I'll end this off with my dream car. I've been seeing red-hot ferraris everywhere now, I swear. The news, the tv, the roads, even car magazines my uncle left around. Its driving me crazy; I know its 1million but still! Its never bad to aim high/fantasize!

Alright, and that ends my post.

As usual, an incentive to get online; a study session that is more productive than today. But I really got to go study electrolysis now or I'll fail Eric Tan's quiz tomorrow. s:

Study session with Xinni at the airport after remedial tomorrow, hopefully it'll work out!